The Value of Leaving Before You’re No Longer Welcome (Prov 25:17)

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for your neighbor… is go home!

As Christians, we rightly talk a lot about love—bearing burdens, meeting needs, showing hospitality, being present for people. But Scripture also reminds us that love is not just about showing up; it’s also about knowing when to leave. Tucked away in Proverbs is a surprisingly practical warning: be careful not to wear out your welcome and strain the very relationship you’re trying to build. I want to explore how Proverbs 25:17 teaches a quiet, easily overlooked aspect of Christlike love. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is find the door.

“Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.” (Prov 25:17)

One’s home has always been viewed as a sanctuary, a place of security and comfort. To invade that security and comfort too often can cause stress in any relationship. Let me give two examples that I have experienced.

Two Kinds of People

On the one hand, I know a few amazing individuals who seem to have perfected this principle. These individuals are never an inconvenience or a bother. They will end conversations before they become a nuisance. They will leave your home before they become a burden. They are very considerate, always looking to be a blessing instead of an inconvenience. These men and women constantly remind me of the practicality of love. They show deference through how they interact with others in relation to time and space. They are fulfilling the theology of loving by not being a burden or inconvenience.

On the other hand, I have also known individuals who are not good at being considerate. In fact, they seem to fear being forgotten if they are not always interacting with others! Often, they do not even consider that others want to be doing other things. In contrast to the former group, these kinds of individuals are often a burden rather than a blessing to those around them.

Lest someone get the wrong idea, I am not writing about this to convict any particular individuals (although if you are convicted, maybe there is a reason!). Rather than targeting someone specific, I am simply sharing my thoughts on Proverbs 25:17. I am personally convicted in my own life of the necessity of thinking of others first. I am sure I have failed at this and have burdened others far too often. But by God’s grace, we can consider others more important than ourselves.

It struck me recently that this proverb is a great example of love: one should be willing to end their own fun a little early rather than risk staying a little too late and ruining someone else’s time. In other words, better to leave too early than to stay too late. It is practical and biblical. I want to be someone who is always considerate of other people’s time and space. As I have observed this principle in play, I will admit that it is often those who leave early who are trying to be most considerate of others and their time—those are often the people I want to spend most time with! Their love and kindness is infectious.