In a previous existence, I held a job where I was responsible for upholding the principles of fairness and accountability. And by that, I mean I was a high school swim coach. I loved swimming, and I loved helping others feel pain through swimming. I enjoyed the job immensely, but early on, I learned a valuable lesson about the necessity of timely justice. From the outset, I was basically doomed. Although I had been a swimmer myself, I really didn’t have an appropriate appreciation for the theological depravity of man. So, I developed a system where if someone broke the rules, they would have to submit themselves to pushups as punishment after practice. Breaking the rules included goofing off, ignoring commands, and the like. Well, after about 3 days of trying to implement this system, I realized it was a complete and unmitigated disaster. What happened was all fairly predictable.…